Thursday, October 20, 2011

Painting - My beginning















As an artist I have had no formal training in painting except an odd course in college. But at a time when I had run out of all conventional avenues for creativity, like a Job - as a fashion designer, or a visual merchandiser. Painting has given me the creative outlet that I need to keep my balance with the my world. Reading and painting are my two passions and I want to share some of the projects that I have undertaken in the past couple of years.
I have learnt painting from observation mostly - simply put If I want to learn about how to paint the water , I picked up a painting that’s challenged me on the subject of water and tried to learn from it . Getting to know the strokes by simply seeing how another Master had some it so beautifully before me ;getting basics right. My need to experiment has resulted in a number of original paintings but even now if there is a painting style I admire, I pick apart that painting and learn. The results have been awesome - sometimes copied to the tee and sometimes so wonderfully different.
All I know is that I am having fun again, forgetting myself in the pleasure of diving onto the wondrous world that is COLOUR.

Monday, April 26, 2010

A poem

A Poem from the days past , Cant believe that i feel the same way now .
I think i wrote it in 2004

Life changes so
And I feel I have crawled
Through mud and guts
To reach the place I am at
I am winning in the war of life
By simply being alive
Many things I have endured
So many things covered up
Life is not so beautiful
As you grow painfully up

But I smile when I think of you
A slow smile
Where I absolutely know
That I love you
Life is moving on
In so may directions right now
So many decisions to be taken
But I know I love you
The simple things, a thought
That’s all it takes for me to know
That you love me too

Waking up day by day
Going through life with all its changes
I know that only you could make me feel so
Tomorrow is another day but I know
That I’ll be there and so will you
As we go through life together
I know that I love you
Pink

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Chapter 2

Ria could be considered a normal high school girl, medium described her best until you looked into her eyes , pretty brown eyes that stared into the world in a unfocused way, she was still standing at the edge of adolescence – not yet an adult and still instinctively, definitely not a child. Awareness had not yet sharpened her gaze as it had to most of her class mates, so her mind was still more in the clouds and her smile was sweeter for it, and the fact that she was unaware of her self drew more attention than the buxom girls who flaunted their charms. The class knew that Ria was a klutz and generally did not hold it against her. Her best friend was Prachi- they generally could finish each others sentences before the other could say it and loved each other almost like sisters. The only barrier they had to almost living with each other was that fact that Prachi’s mom could not stand Ria- who she believed had ‘spoilt her innocent daughter’. But as the girl in question was supremely unaware of any bad vibes and Prachi quite could not exist with out her conversations with her friend, Ria could usually could be found lounging at her friends house after school.

Prachi knew she should have no expectations of her own. Her life as dictated by her ultra conservative family was that ‘Girls should get married in their own clan and the boy should have a flat handy, so that the girl’s parents would fill it with all the worldly goods that that she would need, along with a hefty sum in dowry. And of course - then they would live happily ever after’ and heaven forbid any one to think differently. Now this was where Ria had a problem. What happened between the marriages and happily ever afters. Life was not as simple as they thought it was and even ‘head in the clouds’ Ria knew so.
After school every day The two friends usually arrived in Prachi’s house and aunty would bring a snack within 10 minutes of Ria’s arrival hoping against hope that she would eat –quickly - and leave. But it was generally 4 hours before the final good byes were said and the tiny light of the small bike flickered to life to lead the way to her house. Ria had trained her father to believe that she did all her home work at Prachi’s place and hence peace, an early dinner and sleep ensued. Life as Ria knew -was generally like this.
Life is a very weird course and just as you feel that you have figured out a rhythm it changes, for some it’s a gradual change like a river carving its way through mountains and then for some it is like a clap of thunder that singes the very ground it falls on. On that morning, it seemed like just another day - she was at the pool training hard for the up coming sports meet. Most of her friends did not even know that she swam. It was her own secret and she guarded it jealously, her father had paid for her to swim in a nearby luxury apartment complex and hence no one remotely connected with her knew about it. Ria knew that her father did not like her swimming alone. But she was persistent and it was now so natural that it was considered a part of her normal schedule. But riding on the lines of fate that day her bike refused to startup. Even her usual and highly inventive starting by dipping her bike low down did not work and after some futile kicking, she gave up and started to walk looking for an auto. What she did not notice was, three guys who started to follow, they had seen her struggle with her failed moped and marked her easy prey. Before she knew it, two strong arms had come from behind to cup her chest and another started to grope under her body. She could not think for a min, even to move seemed impossible, struggling and trying to scream with her closed mouth, she bit the hand that was holding her mouth shut and let out a heart rendering cry. But of no avail. She was in an unknown area and there seemed to be no one around. Within a heart beat she was pushed on the ground, intelligently her knee connected with her assailants groin and she had the pleasure of seeing him howl in pain. Then a large hand hit her face and just before she passed out - saw a shadowy figure running toward where she was!!
‘OHH the pain in her head’. She slowly focused her eyes and within split second remembered what had happened. Struggling to sit up she looked around A crowd had gathered and were staring. No one moved, they were not looking at her but at some one beside her. A man was lying beside her - his hand at an awkward angle that left no one is doubt it was broken. Blood covered his face and arms. And still the people stared.
That’s when it hit her- Words just came out of her mouth expressing her fear and raising her pitch to a shrieking decibel level ‘What is WRONG WITH YOU ALL?? CANT YOU SEE A PERSON IS HURT! Has any one called for an AMBULANCE?? And for the first time in her life, she screamed out loud and promptly fainted.

The next thing she knew was cool hands being laid on her fore head. And some one was sponging her face; she saw the steel of the injection and passed under again. Pain hit her again and again until she was left feeling numb on her jaw and her head throbbed, She felt another presence and saw herself looking at a lady. One part of her head studied her ‘A small face with a nicely pressed sari’ while some thing did not seem to be functioning at all. She could only hear the roar of the waves or so she thought. Then she finally seemed to pick out the sounds. Her father was there! Looking dazed and agitated, in an argument with a stranger. The lady who was now looking at her said. ‘She is coming around now’, and suddenly she became the hub of all the activity. But all explanations seemed to be stuck in her throat. Why were you there? What the hell happened?? What happened to the bike? Why didn’t you call!!!(Oops forgot she had a cell) Who did this? Was it the boy? The list of questions went on endlessly. And still she couldn’t talk.

‘Just let her be. I can fill you in now’ said a new voice. Ria saw the person who had saved her. A tall, thin boy who had a very firm face , he seemed to know what was going on better than her and was describing the features of the people who had fought with him. Ria felt deserted, her father seemed so far away and as she remembered the reason why she was here in the first place, she felt ashamed and guilty as if she was the one at fault. Slowly a hand moved to touch her hair, a pair of the most soft eyes looked at her, ‘ Hello child, are you feeling a lot of pain ? is there any thing I can do to make you feel better’ asked the lady whose body seemed to radiate concern.

Having never been addressed so kindly till now, nor seen such a look of caring in any ones face, she did what she had almost never done in a long time. Ria burst into tears. ‘Ohh you poor child, don’t cry. It’s going to be ok’ the lady crooned. Comforted Ria slid back into her dreams. The next few days passed in a blur. She blocked almost all the events out of her system trying to forget them and make herself as normal as possible. At least she told herself-she was alive and she would recover from her injuries faster than the person who had come to her rescue. He had been shifted to a bigger hospital and that was that.

Ria slowly got back to her routine, her father now took her to and fro from the pool and the news of her accident did not spread out at all. The only people who knew were limited to the numbers of her fingers on one hand. ‘Oh I wish I could say thank you to him!’ Ria thought for the umpteenth time, in the pool as she accustomed her muscles back to the way they used to work. Back and forth she was weaving slowly, wrapped up in the most primal feeling of water flowing across and above her. Hey!! Some one seemed to be shouting at her. “Ohh!!!! It’s him’ thought Ria righting her self up looking across. It was the boy who had hurt himself rescuing her from the most traumatic episode in her life. Gratefulness surged in her and she raced towards him - only to encounter the most ferocious pair of eyes staring down at her.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Want and Need

From my childhood I have always revered the written word. Books have provided solace and comfort in so many stressful situations, exams to childbirth. My tastes have changed and I keep drifting Sci fi, Drama, Romance are the main preoccupations. But as time passes I am now trying to break away from them , what used to give me support seems to take me away from reality. I know that there there are always things that I Want to do and things I Need to do. Books have always been in the Need section - now i want to shift them to Want section. Will it be possible !

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

A story on my mind

I have always wanted to write a story. One to rival all other love stories that i have ever read ( and believe me i have read many!!!!!)
So here goes my first attempt to put it out to the world - Hey this is strictly Mills and Boon stuff , so if you are looking for classics - dont expect that from here.
Lets hope you guys enjoy.
Working Title
Simple and Complicated
Indian love story

Chapter 1

The strokes are strong and clear. She slices though the water, as if some one is after her and she is trying to reach out for her life. 10 laps, 20 laps and finally 30 and then relaxation hits - then awareness of where she is. The darkness is slowly fading as the dawn decides to finally appear on the cold chilly morning. Its winter, and the pool is deserted, water dripping she fumbles around for her glasses!! Finally remembering they were on the floor somewhere – As she snatches them up she slips up ‘yikes!!’ hey this had to happen right, she thinks, before finally heading out. The outside the sun is glaring and she of course she is late. Rushing out with her head in a whirl she struggles with the starting mechanism-an idiotic lever whose name is as obscure as its function. And hurriedly zips through, causing a minor flurry with some street dogs - who have taken exception to her bikes wheels.
There seemed to be some commotion in front of her house and she slips past them in the hurry to get dressed in time but fate being what it is decides she should not be helped. Her father notices and calls to her to respond immediately.
‘Ohh no!’ – she thinks - ‘its Hari aunty – Shit, she is after me for the 500 hundred I lost that I did not tell daddy . ‘Well well well’ Hari aunty drawls as she smilingly advances ‘here she is!” So tell your dad what you did then!
Ria (That’s our heroines name, by the way) feels like she is growing smaller and smaller as her father looms over her. ‘Yes’ She cringes ‘I did lose some moneyand had to borrow from her. Sorry I forgot to mention it but…..’ . Her father raised his hand cutting her off mid sentence. Mentally Ria gears up for the impeding storm to break, and then her father sighs ‘I knew it’ he says as he steps inside getting his purse. “Hey maybe luck is on my side” thinks Ria and quickly gets out of the way, hoping that escape was near at hand, and nearly manages it too, but her father is waiting by her bike.
Well lets put it this way, after a lecture on his favorite topics ie : Decreasing respect for money , the morals of youngsters these days, society , age , life , Vedas , family and finally all the things wrong with the most scatterbrained child ever seen on the face of this earth. He lets Ria get on the road – to college.
College – Oh the forgotten home work, the untidy copy of English, the surprise test that they announced last week, barely bothers her and she sails into class , to her bench and finally for the first time in the day takes a deep breath. Her friend whispers!’ Whats wrong?’ and they grin - they know exactly ‘what’s wrong?’ The droning of her teacher soon puts her in a state of semi coma, with half closed eyelids she manages to at least look like she is listening, while her mind slowly moves to its own world. The ringing of the bell jolts her and she runs to P T class, to ask about the latest state level swimming meet. ‘The meets coming up in a month so you had better be prepared to at least meet the state record’ Her teacher , normally the most pleasantest of teachers actually stares at her hard opens her mouth, and then a sense of deja wu steals over Ria ‘No… This is not happening - another lecture ? From her!! No wayyyy!!!!!’ but there it was - right in front “Responsibility, Career, Future , Life ……..“ today was definitely not a good day thought Ria as she slowly walked back to her class room .

Love, Drama & Reality

Love, Drama and Reality.
I figured out a truth about myself - I am an avid fan of drama! And the wonderful thing is -I am not alone. I like it in my personal life and TV life, My situation in life is soo normal right now so I have to constantly dress it up a bit. I wonder though is there an end to this, will I know when to stop and am I spoiling my reality by being like this. When we know we are capable of doing - if not great things but meaningful things and we still dont do them does it hurt. Will it make a difference. I know that the answer is already there- but will I ever have the guts to face it? Now thats a question.
Dont you think so!!!!!!

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Well! this is my first attempt at blogging, heard of it but this is the first time I am actually doing this. I guess I should write about myself - Soon!!!!!

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